The first thing for both guys and gals to understand is that this is NOT a myth, nor something only a few blessed woman get to experience. Breasts, particularly the nipples are connected to the same area of the brain that processes genital stimulation. That, in turn, means that the breasts are connected to the vagina. That’s why really good sex can have that erotic lightning zipping between the two. Even more astounding, the research indicated there was little difference in the brain between real and imagined stimulation (presumably if the imagination was vivid enough anyway). THAT is important when we get to talking about the mental aspects of sex.
With that said, I am writing this for both men and women, from the standpoint of how to give a woman an orgasm this way. Guys, in theory it could work for you as well, but male breasts usually aren’t as sensitive as female ones. All I can say there is experiment if you’re curious.
For some girls, orgasms from nipple or breast play come easy. According to research though, less than a third of women have ever experienced an orgasm this way. Having done it before and taught it to multiple guys and gals before, I can say not only is it possible for over 99% of women, the payoffs are massive for it as well
Guys… The ladies are up first. I strongly advise you to read that section though. You’ll learn something about the female body and psyche
Let’s start with the VERY basic; make peace with your breasts. What do I mean?
Society has numerous toxic messages regarding female body image in general and breasts specifically. Big breasts = airheaded bimbo, small breasts = no sex drive, not feminine, etc… Probably a hundred others I could list. I did a little bit of a rant about this recently. If you’re comfortable in your own skin, awesome. That’s as it should be.
If you’re self-conscious about your breasts though, you will have mental blocks that prevent you from enjoying them being touched. Your identity and your sexuality can be enhanced by your breasts, but they should never define you as a woman. It’s all about accepting who you are, and learning to work what you’ve got at a level of mild to wild dress and style that YOU are comfortable with. Whatever their size or shape, your girls are uniquely yours. Own them, be proud of them.
Sexuality and sexual confidence come FAR more from your attitude and how you carry yourself than your breasts, pussy or clothes.
The next step should be natural; take time to truly explore your breasts. You can’t tell or guide your partner how to touch you if you don’t truly know your body yourself. Believe me, most guys DO need guidance too, (as most of you can probably also attest to). Yet as bad as guys are with a woman’s body, women sometimes are also guilty of going straight for what they know works when self-pleasuring. Nipples, kitty, maybe inner thighs, and bang!
A little anecdote here about how you (or somebody else) can surprise yourself; my best friend in high school and college had her first boobgasm when she was 23 and doing post-graduate work in college, despite having a healthy sex life for years. She had a new boyfriend at that point, and he adored her boobs. She said she about died of shock when it happened, and then nearly did again when she found out she was responsive enough to have multiple orgasms that way. She had, up till that point, believed that boobgasms were a myth. All it took was the right touch.
Take the time to explore your breasts. Use different pressures, different parts of your hand, etc… as you explore different parts of them. As the picture below shows, breasts have several major nerves in them:
Aside from the nipples, the lower quadrants; especially the lower outer TEND to be very responsive, particularly to light caresses. Likewise, smaller breasts TEND to be more responsive than large ones because the nerves aren’t spread out over as large an area. Every woman is different though! Some will have more nerves, some will have them closer to the surface, some won’t. Take time and truly enjoy learning what makes your girls unique. Women who do can often have boobgasms solo.
Next, ladies… When it comes to activities with a partner; COMMUNICATE! Men are NOT mind readers, no matter how much it’s wished for. Other women can be slow picking up clues sometimes as well. Communicate gently and clearly though. The male ego is typically extremely fragile when it comes to the bedroom. “A little lower, gently baby”, will get you what you want from all but the most selfish partner, whereas “not like that, you ass!” is only going to cause a fight.
If you can get a partner to the point of understanding how to touch your breasts, you can even make a sexy game out of teaching them to explore your body. That will only lead to better foreplay and orgasms as they learn to equate that foreplay with increased desire from you.
I almost forgot… Remember that whole no difference between imagination and real stimulation? It’s true. Your brain can’t tell real sensory input from deeply imagined input. Being able to fantasize your way to an orgasm is an area explored by ASMR researchers. Different topic though. In this instance, the point is that you have the ability to help intensify the physical stimulation by both vividly imagining the process and REALLY paying attention to your body’s sensations. That means tuning out the iPhone, etc… completely. NOTHING exists but the physical pleasure you’re feeling and your partner, IF present.
As a last note before moving to the guys, lets talk about BDSM and your boobs. Nipple clamps, binding the breasts, etc… Some people are into that. Reality is though, that you’re killing the long-term responsiveness of your breasts for some short-term kink. Go light on that kind of fun if you want your breasts to stay responsive (and avoid them becoming prematurely saggy in the case of the tight binding). If you’re into that, it’s all good. Just be aware that there will likely be long term effects.
On a vaguely related note, nipple piercings can make nipples quite responsive, but I haven’t found any long term studies on their effects on breast health or responsiveness.
OK guys, as with the recent rant, I’m going to start with the “why you should care” here. If you read the gal’s section it should be obvious though. The more you LEARN to touch her the right way… Do things like THIS:
the more frequently she’ll be willing to do THIS:
OR DO THIS
Contrary to all the macho nonsense out there, you’re NOT born a sex god, and thrilling her takes more than just size or pounding away. There’s ZERO shame there though. The only shame is in not learning to properly drive her crazy and have her screaming your name.
The thing that you all should understand about foreplay is that women are USUALLY slower to warm up, BUT if you take that time, once she truly gets going, she will be eager to give as much or more than she gets. Barriers and inhibitions have a way of slipping away once needs are met.
My best guy student actually turned his girlfriend from a domme who had to be on top when she was willing to have sex at all, into a switch with strong submissive tendencies who wanted it multiple times a day. Again, generalities here, so don’t assume foreplay will get you past a woman’s hard boundaries, even if her soft boundaries are likely to melt.
Another benefit of foreplay for you guys; if she’s on the verge of an orgasm or already had a few before you enter her, she’s more likely to be understanding about any stamina problems you might have since she will have had her release.
So, to keep it simple, QUALITY foreplay = more sex and better sex. That’s why you should want to learn.
The Actual “How To”
Touching: Again, if you read the ladies’ section, you have an idea WHERE to touch her breasts. Now let’s talk about HOW. Mainstream porn is a BAD teacher here, and is exactly the opposite way to create desire, responsiveness and orgasms in a woman. For the average woman, handling her breasts roughly is almost as unpleasant as it is for you to have your balls mangled. Same with chewing on nipples. Look at all the nerves in that pic above, and how they ALL go to the nipples.
As a side note, lesbian porn can be a great learning tool, especially the massage videos.
If that scares you on some level, being manly isn’t about brute force, it’s projecting internal strength and confidence even while using a gentle touch. Make her melt because she feels safe and desired with you.
So what do you do? As a general rule, a woman’s breasts, and most everywhere else on her body, respond to the lightest touch possible at first. Start with the outer areas of her breasts, and use a feather-soft touch to circle and explore them. Slowly work your way inward. Watch for signs of her body getting warmed up; goose bumps, heavier breathing, aroused looks… her breasts may even swell slightly with stimulation. As she warms up, you can be a little more firm in how you handle her body. If you graduate to massaging her breasts, be gentle but firm. Caress them as much as knead them.
If she wants it rougher, trust me… she’ll let you know.
A side note here about erogenous zones also: While there are certain spots on a woman’s body that are a bit more responsive than others, reality is a woman’s ENTIRE body is an erogenous zone IF you touch her correctly. Part of this is because sex is as much mental as physical for a woman. Even if she’s not yet at a point of needing to feel love from you, she at least wants to feel truly desired, not that she’s just a warm place to put it.
Kissing: Yes, some ways are better than others here also. Start out with SOFT kisses around her breasts and work slowly towards her nipples. Tease her nipples lightly with your tongue. use soft, open mouth kisses and let her feel the heat of your mouth. Blow lightly on her nipples. Save firmer kisses and suckling her nipples until after she’s warmed up a little . If it happens faster than you expected, she’ll let you know she’s ready for more.
If you REALLY want to drive her crazy, use sex being mental for her against her. Use all the tricks above to let her feel you’re incredibly hungry for her, BUT use your self control and make a game of seeing how far you can build her own desires. Caress her everywhere except between her legs, whisper sexy things in her ear… Try to get her to outright beg you to take her. This IS a game you have to be careful with though. A few women react negatively to it, primarily ones with dominant personalities. We’re getting off topic here though.
Ask and Listen: You CAN do these and still maintain a strong appearance. It’s all in how you ask. Simply project a strong, yet caring attitude when you ask “like this?”, or harder, gentler, or whatever. It’s all in the tonality. As long as you don’t sound weak, scared or lacking in confidence, all but the most bitchy woman is going to respect that you’re trying to meet her needs and thus feel closer to you.
NEVER blame her if you’re not getting the desired response either. Almost nothing damages a woman’s self-esteem or her feelings for you like that does. Ask what you can do differently, and if it does turn out to be that she’s just not responsive, try other things and areas.
Past of “listening” means responding to body cues also. If she keeps backing her breast away from you as you’re giving it attention, it probably has gotten too sensitive. That MAY or MAY NOT have to do with how you handled it. Try switching to the other breast if you get that cue. Better yet, alternate so neither one feels neglected.
Be aware of body changes too. Almost a side note here, but remember that even after you’ve learned a woman’s body, it’s sensitivity changes somewhat. Certain times of the month, her breasts will be more sensitive than usual. Communicate, and watch for body ques.
Just during the course of normal sex, a woman’s breasts will undergo some changes, primarily swelling due to increased blood flow:
The swelling will spread out the nerves, and perhaps push them just a little deeper. This is why you can handle her girls more firmly once she’s fully warmed up. The arousal also tend to make her nipples even more responsive however, and they become your best shot for boobgasms at that point.
How to Seduce Her Out Of Her Bra:
Sometimes, like with my star pupil, your partner may be a tough nut to crack. The trick to getting her top off SHOULD be common sense: Don’t go straight for the girls! Start with caressing her shoulders, whispering sweet nothings in her ear and kissing along her neck. Explore there with your kisses. Nearly every woman has a hot spot somewhere along the sides of her neck. Find it and gently work on it until she’s melted. Mix in deep kisses, caress her back… Take your time, until she’s pushing you to unclasp that bra and pull her top off.
THEN you’re free to explore her breasts completely. Take your time here as well. See if you can bring her to multiple orgasms that way. The time to move further is when she’s literally all but begging you to get between her legs.
The work pays off. Everything you do will make her entire body more responsive. Her orgasms will come faster and stronger than they would have. Suddenly, in her eyes, you really are that sex god that other guys only pretend to be.
So yes, learning can be very sexy fun. Becoming a real sex god(dess) is much better than just thinking you are and having her pissed off at you. Being left unsatisfied is every bit as annoying for a woman as it is for a man. She may put up with it for a time, but eventually being unfulfilled WILL have consequences. That oft repeated, cliche hentai scene is true:
You also don’t want your woman talking about you behind your back. Trust me, girls DO talk too. Some are much kinder about it than others but the vast majority of girls do discuss the quality of their sex life with their girlfriends and female family members. Take the time to overwhelm her with pleasure. Then she will either be telling all her friends what a stud you are, OR she won’t say anything for fear of having those girlfriends try to steal you away.
Nevermind girls know what silence means in that instance anyway. 😉